SaberShine

SaberShine

Gender: Female
Species: Unicorn
Mane: Red with black streaks
Tail: Same as Mane
Eyes: Navy Blue
Body: Lighter than eyes
Cutie Mark: Half moons with wings
Age (Baby,adult): Adult

Personality: SaberShine is a outgoing mare with a loving personality. She loves to be around ponies she knows, but is very shy around ponies she's never met before. She's a country pony at heart, so she tends to talk like one. She loves to be in the forests, looking around at the flora and fauna around her. When she's alone, Sabershine will read any book she can find, a trait she picked up from her father, who loved books as well. Although she's really nice to others, she has a bad habit of speaking her mind as soon as she sees someone, though she tries really hard not to do it. When she realizes that she does it, she feels bad and normally babbles, apologizing what she for what she did.

Likes: Flowers, any type of creature, reading books, and making friends wherever she can.

Dislikes: SaberShine doesn't like ponies who boast about what they can do, she believes that if you're good at something, you should show ponies in your actions.

History: Growing up in Ponyville, Sabershine longed for something different. Although she was born and raised in Ponyville, Saber is a country pony at heart and it showed in the activities she participated in. Her mother noticed a change in Saber when she had started going to school, she would wear a cowboy hat everyday, and began talking like the country ponies that would come to town. Soon, when she was old enough, Sabershine moved to Appleloosa, and she had never felt more at home then she did. She began to work in the apple fields, and Saber enjoyed every minute she worked, feeling that she had found what she was missing when she was a foal. As she was growing up, Sabershine always had a love for the half moon, not the full moon like most people did. She wished to share her love of the moon and all its phases with others, and when she realized this, her cutie mark appeared.

Example RP segment:

Sabershine sees a young foal in the street, tears streaming down it's face. Walking up to the foal, she places a hoof on it's shoulder. "Are ya'll alright?" she asks, concern in her voice as she speaks to the foal. The young foal looks up at her, sniffing slightly. "I can't find my mommy," she whimpers, starting to sob again.

Looking around her, Saber doesn't see anypony that looks like they lost a foal. "I'll ya what, I'll help ya find your momma," she says, smiling down at the young foal. The foal looks up, hopefulness in it's eyes. "Really?" she asks. Nodding with a smile, she replies, "Of course, it's never fun getting lost by yourself and not having anypony ta help ya."

The young foal rises to her hooves and smiles at Saber. "Thanks," she mutters, scuffing the ground with her hoof. Saber smiles, and with the young foal, begins to walk around, in search for the young foals mother.

Your app is good but could do with a few more details. Try to add to what you have in the personality and history sections, such as any flaws she may have, and history on how she earned her cutie mark.

Also, try using spacing and paragraphing in your RP segment to make it easier to read.

Changes have been made.

Your character has been approved.