Lying and Cheating: among other Acts of Chicanery

May was shocked by the pony's lisp and lengthening of the 's's. She kept her face emotionless though, she was fairly good at that.

"Well that's interesting. Getting a little nervous there?" she laughed, trying to relieve the sudden tension.

"Whaaaaat? Pfff. No. HA. HA. ha..." Snake Eyes laughed nervously. May must think she was a freak...

They would always think she was a freak.

And nothing would change that.

Snake gladly received her milkshake as the waiter passed by. She took a long sip of it and decided to change the subject, pointedly adjusting her shades to assure that they stay on her face.

"Did you see the two jokers wandering in?" She asked quietly.

"Yeh, I saw them." May smiled lightly to show she wasn't bothered by Snake's lisp. She was very careful to keep her judgements to herself, or just not have them in the first place. She preferred to let a pony's actions label them, rather than looks or disabilities.

Her order arrived and she took a large swig of it. She sat it down on the table.

Snake Eyes nodded. "Keep a clossse eye on them." She reached into her jacket pocket to bring out a pair of dice. Idly, she started to roll them around as she munched on her fries.

"So your muscle for hire? Or what?" She watch the two die fall onto double ones.

"'Talents' could mean alot of things. Almost all that come to mind are illegal. From what I saw you're amazing with that knife." She sipped on her milkshake. "I would venture to say Assassin, but you seem too moral, besides you didn't even kill any of those brutes. Maybe a guard but then you'd have probably taken me in for questioning by this point. So... Maybe a bodyguard?" Snake got her lisp in check. She was always one to ask questions, the deeper the better. She didnt see it as prying, more as friend-screening.

She rolled the die again, still two ones.

May rolled her eyes, "no, none of those things. Intimidation. That's the usual, but sometimes it's 'quests.'"

May smirked as Snake Eyes showed off with the dice. Her name fit her talent really well, Snake Eyes got snake eyes.

"So what is it you really do?" she asked curiously. May wanted to know, most likely it had something to do with gambling.

"Believe it or not, I am not primarily a gambler." Snake Eyes watched the twin unicorns closely as she talked. "Sure, I made a lot of money off of it, but that's just a hobby. A very fun, lucrative hobby. But a hobby." she flipped her hair back and adjusted her crimson hairband.

"I am a Trickster." She explained.

"My job is to ruin a lot of ponies' day." She leaned back thoughtfully. "Ever been in a traffic jam that makes you late for something? Or get a flight delayed due to 'Technical Difficulties?' I am Technical Difficulties."

"I mean, I don't hurt ponies. Never. That's against the rules. But I make sure that common inconveniences are often and plentiful. Sometimes, a pony wants me to pull a prank at a specific time at a specific place, and it pays extra. Usually spreads a little extra Taint too."

For Discord's sake why am I still talking?

"But yeah. Thats the gist of it."

"Well that sounds like a lot of fun." May snorted, wondering what it must be like to have that kind of job. If it could even be called a job.

"Anyways, what're you thinking of those unicorns?" she asked, observing their every move, "they thugs after you?" she laughed, smirking.

Snake leaned into the table and pursed her lips in thought.

"Dunno. I'd never seen them around the Bar and Grill, but that doesn't mean they aren't looking out for me or you." She waved down the waiter. "Hey, get those two gentleponies a drink would you? on me, of course."

The waiter nodded and walked off to fulfill her order.

"I want them good and tipsy if they are going to try anything."

May laughed, "you sure? that'll just grab their attention. They probably won't even drink them, and just come over here to beat you up."

She knew she could take them easily, but didn't particularly want to. She was tired, and getting a bit drunk as well. She called the waiter over, ordering a glass of water to erase the fuzziness in her eyes.

"May, please. They won't start anything in here. This is just a friendly reminder that they are being watched." Snake chuckled at her friends comment. "Sometimes attention can be a powerful tool of aversion, diversion, and conversion."

She waved sweetly at the two unicorns, who received their drinks. The two grinned at one another.

"Hm... Something isn't right." She squinted at the two unicorns. She couldn't place her hoof on it, but there was something amiss about this whole business.

May rolled her eyes, "whatever."

She didn't really care about the pair (LOL rhyme!). They seemed like regular thugs, annoying and idiotic. If they tried anything, May probably wouldn't do anything. She'd already saved this mare once, did she hafta do it again?

She smirked and lazily toyed with the empty glass

Time seemed to slow down as Snake heard the click of the hammer of a revolver.

"Get down!" She yelled as she kicked the table over, shielding the booth. She tackled May to the ground.

The Unicorn twins were just two schmucks looking for a mare to keep them company.

The real threat lay in the booth opposite, where a group of five produced pistols and opened fire on the two mares. Hot lead and smoke filled the air as the


"Clever bastards... Little Miss May, grab the edge of the table, start to move it forward." She braced herself against the table and slowly started to nudge it out of the booth and into the center of the diner.

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you this, but keep your head down." she yelled over the roar of the guns.

May said nothing, only doing as told, which was a rare occurrence. She began to cautiously push the table with Snake, shoving it towards the group of five.

"Uh, why are we going closer to the guns?" she shouted, not really wanting to get shot.

The gunshots screamed through the air, puncturing the booth and leaving fairly large holes. Her mind raced, wanting desperately to look and see so she could throw her knife, but held herself back.

Carefully and quietly, she pulled a throwing star out of her cloak, aiming it blindly towards the gunshots. She chucked it, and heard an awful sound of gurgling as it hit one of the five. She winced, feeling a bit guilty. Normally, she didn't like using her skills to actually hurt, let alone kill, somepony. Preferring to nail them to a wall or something.

"Ouch. That sounded like it hurt!" Snake Eyes winced along with May as a pony entered their death throes. one less gun lent its noise to the chorus of bullets.

"But as I was saying: You can't smack a baddie from across the room."

She produced a small black rod, about the size of her hoof. She pressed a button on the end, and flicked her wrist. The collapsible police baton extended to the size of a ponies leg.

"On three, we send this table into those mobsters and go in swinging."

"One, Two, Three!"

She sent the table into the booth containing the shooters, and jumped over it and onto two of the four left standing. Swiftly and efficiently she brutally beat one of them into unconsciousness. The other raised a pistol to try and shoot her.

"Not today, you slimy little bugger." she grinned as she slammed the baton into his nose, causing him to black out.

"How you doing May? you good?" she whirled around, ready to deck anypony left standing.

In the confusion, she had no time to check to see if her friend was alright.

May nodded after shoving the table. "Fantastic. Just bucking fantastic."

She held onto her shoulder, flinching a bit. Blood ran onto her hoof, and she released for a second. Blood spurted from the hole in her shoulder, and she winced.

"Ouh, that hurts." she laughed, taking out her sai. She threw it at the thug who shot her, hitting him smack dead in the neck and pinning him to wall. He slumped down, his head hanging and blood streaming from the wound.

"Well, that was exciting." she commented, smirking as she held her own wound. "What now?"

"Sort of threw the whole no killing bit out the window, eh?" Snake glanced at the three bodies with disdain.

"Well... I think... that they won't be so keen to be after us. I recognize these five. I don't think they have any more assassin/thugs/lackies. We should be fine." she turned her attention to her companion. "I guess this makes us 1 to 1 on saving lives."

She frowned as she noticed the blood seeping out of May's shoulder. "You're hurt. Did they get you?" She asked as she drew herself up next to May, getting a better look at the wound. "Eh... I ain't no doctor..."

she collapsed her baton and stowed it in her jacket, bringing out a small notebook, bound in leather.

"I think I now a pony... It's a gamble, but I don't think a hospital would be optimum. They would ask too many questions you know? And we aint exactly kosher."

She walked to the owner, who was cowering behind the bar. She dumped a sack of bits onto him. "For your troubles, and your silence." The owner nodded, terrified.

"Sorry for the bullet holes and junk."

She walked back to her friend. "I know a discreet little motel a block from here. I don't think there will be any more attempts but I need a place to... er... call the guy..." She read the booklet again.

"Yeah... jeezy Petes this bucker is weird sounding..."

"this guy doesn't sound very trustworthy." she said lazily, scratching at the wound. She gave up, an instead adjusted her cloak to cover the blood. 

"Isn't there anypony else?" she asked in vain. Her shoulder was really starting to bleed, and it was soaking her cloak. She gasped as the pain started to settle in, and she clutched the wound tightly. "Jeez that hurts." she laughed weakly.

"Nope." Snake Eyes flipped through the entire booklet. "If rumors be true, this guy delivers. I don't know many rogue doctors in Equestria. Besides, you're starting to look preeetty bad." She dogeared the page as she led May outside.

As she had predicted, it was not far from the Third Circle. She stopped by a convenience store and bought some flour.

"Gunna need this." She explained as they proceeded to the motel.

After a quick chat and a roll of paper bits exchanging hooves, Snake Eyes go them into a nice little private room.

She quickly got to work, she moved all the furniture out of the way and started to pour the flour onto the floor in a circle. She started to form lines and shapes, making a symbol on the floor.
((the symbol here:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Vassago.jpg ))

"lay down on the bed. You've already lost a lot of blood. You need to relax." She turned off the lights as she lit a candle. She still kept her shades on.

"Now seeing as how I don't have a horn, this might get a little interesting..."

"I ain't usually one for occult nonsense, but apparently this guy likes his dramatic entrances."

She shrugged as she read aloud from the little book: "Oh Prince of Tartarus, Your name is Vassago, you're office is to declare things Past and to Come, and to discover all things Hid or Lost. Here is your Sigil, now come to me!"


Normally, if an earth pony or pegasus tried a ritual as thus, nothing would happen. It just so happened that a combination of Discordian energy, the auspicious location of the motel in accordance to local Ley Line Constructions, and a bit of Executive Meddling from Higher Powers, something of a improbable nature happened.




In the circle, there appeared a foal in the flash of light. He looked almost sickly, with a unhealthy tan colored coat and a swampy green colored mane.


"-In the rear with a two by four. But in the end we got the porcupine out." He smiled as he sipped his hot chocolate. He looked up in time to realize that he was not in PonyVille in his home at the Old Abandoned Tenement on Rose Street.


He was in a sleezy hotel in Manehattan.


He stared blankly at Snake Eyes and May. A bit of whipped cream stayed on his nose. "What the Buck?"


"So... your Vassago? you seem a little bit shorter than thought."


Vassago sputtered and stared at the sigil on the floor. "How did you even- You couldn't have- Your not even a unicor- THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE."


Snake Eyes groaned as she rolled her eyes. "Hey man, whatever, I just wanted to ask for a favor. Thats what you do right? You do contracts right?"


Vassago wheeled around. "Yes yes yes whatever that comes later..." He looked for something that obviously wasn't there, made evident by his little quips of "where... is it? maybe... no..."




"Yo. Creepy little Foal dude." Snake Eyes snapped a couple of times to get Vassago's attention. "My friend over here is bleeding. Make with the fixing."


Vassago stared blankly at May. "Oh right. Contracts first. Give me a moment."


His horn glowed as he mouthed a choice couple of words, ever so often nodding and frowning. His horn stopped glowing.


"Five minutes. My friend will get here soon." The Foal returned to looking around the motel room, trying to find something.


"Hey, May, how are you holding up?" Snake Eyes asked her companion as she watched the foal run around the room.

May wanted to roll her eyes, but was starting to lose consciousness. Snake Eyes lead her to a sketchy looking hotel, but May followed nonetheless. Darkness started to take over, and she laid on the bed as instructed. 

Snake did some ritual-babbling nonsense-and a small, sickly looking filly appeared. May blacked out around then, her eyes shutting tightly.

"errr" May blinked, opening one eye. Suddenly, she jumped up and withdrew a dagger. 

"What? Where am I? What is this?" she asked wildly, flinching as pain overwhelmed her. She clutched her shoulder, and found stitches. "What the-? Who are you?" She stared at the grey mare in front of her, before memories came rushing back to her. "Oh." 

She sat on the bed again, tucking the weapon away. "What..happened?" She rubbed her injury absently.

"Hm?" May looked up emotionlessly, "Yeh I'm fine." She waved her hoof, brushing away the pain that struck her shoulder. She walked up to the odd symbol on the floor, "Oh? And what is this?" she asked, ignoring Snake's red eyes-similar to her own. She studied the ruined pattern, wondering what it was doing there.

She tilted her head curiously, retaining her emotionless demeanor. May yawned and walked around the room, "This place sure is dirty." she noted, laughing an empty laugh.

Snake joined her in the laugh. "Definitely not the swankiest place I ever holed up in." She looked hard at the ruined symbol on the floor.

"My little black book said that to get the guy to come, you had to doodle this thing and say a couple weird words. It kind of worked... although it wasn't exactly how I expected it too. I wonder what it means?" The harsh lines and crescents had lost their power, but that didn't stop it from feeling... wrong. The symbol felt odd to step on and started to give Snake a migraine just from looking at it.

"Vassago, huh?" She muttered to herself.

"Huh?" May said, but then shrugged. She looked at the symbol again, it felt strange. So she decided to do something about it. She swiftly kicked the powder that was used to make it. She continued to shuffle along the edges, ruining the symbol itself. 

Once she finished, she clapped her hooves together, "there. Much better" she smirked. Turning to Snake, she asked "dontcha think?"