The terror of socialisation

Light rain trickled around the ponies, but never enough to break them from their desire to interact. A opal white coated colt, with eyes as black as tar stood at a small balloon stand, his eyes flickering about as he noticed the smallest things. A filly removing lipstick from her purse as a colt walked by. A group of foals running, covering their legs with mud. His eyes fell on colt, swiftly leaving the scene with haste. A smug expression crosses Funfact's face as he abandoned his cart, as he silently trots towards the colt. His body moved slightly, using the least effort to propel himself as his seem focused on the colt ahead.

Funfact's moved like a ice skater, using the water on the street to drag his hooves as he walked, yet still going fast enough to follow the colt at a comfortable distance. His eyes seem like they never shut, flickering as they seem to drink the world in through a filter. His white coat became stained from the dirt filled summer rain as his hair began to sag from the weight of the water. 

He also had began placing his hoofs into the tracks that the ahead was making, copying his stride at times before returning to his slower progression.

Funfact wore a smug expression, like he had caught the colt stealing from the cookie jar. His voice soft, but clearly audible."Got'cha." He pointed at the colt before removing a stick of gum from his hind leg pack, slowly chewing it as his black tar eyes scanned the ground.

"In the night sky we dance, reach up till the air grows thin in hopes we may defeat it. Rise above the cloud of lies." He almost seem sad as he stepped to the side of the hoof print in front him, removing kit from his hind pack. He sprayed the hoof print with some kinda solution that hardened it. "This will do nicely for your hoof print identification. Fleeing from a crime scene is a crime along with returning, which you have performed both."

He paused a few moments after his accusation before saying suddenly. "Birds cannot fly when it rains, yet ponies can. However we both return to wooden homes made by others."

A complacent expression with a matching smug smile formed as he lifted the hoof print from the ground. "I have trouble sleeping." He stated with a tone that made it seem like it was the topic at hand, somehow related to the "crime scene". "I am plagued by nightmares. For the world is saturated with Lies."

His closed his eyes for a moment as he softly blew a bubble from his gum, letting it expand to a impressive size before popping, clearly audible across the water soaked cobblestone. "Coffee helps me stay awake as I dip my hooves in the swamp of lies... does this dress my me look fat?" He said suddenly before wiping back the mess of his black hair. "Lies such as this are used daily, like how we spend currency."

He took only three steps forward to pass the extracted print and sat down. His body at a perfect lean as he let his eyes meet the the colts, unwavering as he spoke on. "I have only one goal. The Truth. It's light burns the blanket of misspoken meaning away..... Blankets do not protect you from the monsters."

He aimed a single hoof at the pegsai, keeping his confidence on full gear. "Will you admit what you have done wrong and come clean, or do you want a sunburn, burning with truth on your soft skin, lotion-ed by lies.."

((I don't XD You just gotta try to respond. HAhahahaahahaa! Fun right? *Grin*))


Funfact stopped mid-sentence in his rant as she grew a small smile before setting the hoof print to his side. "It seems you must make me open the curtains, why can't we ever just want to wake up?" He asked, more to the wind then to the colt before him. "Most ponies come here to chat, throw a Frisbee or enjoy the moon over head.." He shook his head with a smug smile. "Yet you do none of these things, hiding in the corner, running at the suggestion of somepony walking your way.. Had I not needed to pay the rent for my flat by selling balloons.." He held the unopened bag of balloons in his hooves that he at some point removed from his pouch.

"One of the only talents a clown gave me.. though he said he failed at his job.. I never laughed once." He said with a tone that was foreigner in way, like it was on the verge of emotion. "Recently somepony has been leaving there dirty laundry in the trees, making the square smell of the truths of sweat and bad milk."

He wore a smug smile as he almost touched his hoof to his face. "It's clear that you are the culprit. With wings you'd be able to reach the trees, using the clouds to hid till you were sure no one noticed you, though the reason you stay so far away is also proof.. that reason." His hoof lifted, aiming it's nail at you. "You smell.. if someone got to close. They would be able to match the scents."

He removed a scrubber and a thing of soap as it was latched on by sparkling black colored magic, the same color as his eyes, coming from his horn's tip. "Today. I will clean your crimes."

Funfact shook he head he removed the spray bottle, dangling around his neck to cover the scrubber in a fresh coat of water, letting the soap touch, giving birth to a forest of bubbles. "There is only three truths here. Each you will hid, thinking I will use them against you. When in fact they are so blinding like the sun you could only enjoys it's warmth and indirectly looking it it... I brought sunglasses as a precaution."

Holding the now soap drench scrubber in the aura of his magic he points to the fountain in the square. "The water in a ground water and nopony throws bits into for good luck. It's clean. Get in there and this case can come to a close."

Funfact blinked few times, like his actions and words ran through filters before processing in his mind. His face showed no disappointment, nor much at all as he set the scrubber in his hoof. "When I attended school to be a detective. I had always said that rehabilitation was preferred over incarceration, yet nopony wishes to fix themselves. They rather stay broken. Stay alone.."

He suddenly blinked once more, growing a small, yet smug smile on his face as looked up at the colt. "Then the only option left in community service." He said vaguely as he used the loop on the end of the scrubber to attach it to his hind pouch, letting soapsuds run down his leg. "You claim not to be the one laying their dirty clothes around, but you also won't take a bath. You have a motive, but here. I shall let you be under surveillance, instead calling the guard."

He nodded, as if agreeing to this for you as he approached as he removed a piece of gum from his pouch and offered to Ivory. "The favor in just bubblegum. Plain and simple like truth. Accept this gift and will allow you to prove your innocence."

Funfact lowered his head with a blank expression, but it seemed liked he was pleased as he turned around to set his hoof in the now harden hoof print he had extracted from the ground as evidence. "There is three laundry mats in Ponyville, each competing with cleaning deals. As well as dry cleaners. The average home in Ponyville has a washing machine.
" He paused suddenly as he removed another stick of gum, bending it in half before removing it from it's wrapping.

"Gum arabic is a mixture of polysaccharides and glycoproteins that becomes like glue, yet it's possible to eat it. Other substances have replaced it in situations where their toxicity is not an issue, as the proportions of the various chemicals in gum arabic vary widely and make it unpredictable. Still, it remains an important ingredient in soft drink syrups, "hard" gummy candies such as gumdrops, marshmallows, M&M's chocolate candies, and edible glitter, a very popular, modern cake-decorating staple. That is a key ingredient in this gum." He didn't even seem out of breath as he spoke on.

"There is almost no reason why someone would be unable to wash their clothes... thus the only culprit is someone who prefers to smell. Likely the pony is anti-social, shy or plagued with some other problem most consider a issue.. I never understood what was wrong with being alone."

He turned back to the colt. "So far the only pony that has been found that go out of his way to avoid others is you, yet you come to the square, knowing others would be here. The only reason would be to see your crime in action. Unless you can explain why you would come to the area with other ponies when clearly your mission is to avoid them."

Funfact wore a smug expression as he shook his head, letting his hoof that hung in the air half dangling aim at the colt. "Most would walk through the square, the fastest route. The one that reaches the journey's end is the desired, though the road is covered with quick sand, thorns and traps. It could be so short if we allowed it."

He lowered his hoof down slowly as he ignited a large pink sphere of bubble from his mouth, letting it grow to a dangerous size before it violently exploded. Without care spoke on. "However why would some who fears others and has wings walk through one of the most heavily populated areas of Ponyville. This place is your greatest enemy."

Funfact's face perked up a bit, yet lacking any emotion as he nodded once. "Sometimes we forget our gifts can be burden to others. A gust of wing could spill a ice cream, or make a balloon run away from home." For what ever reason the white coated colt, using one hoof lifted himself up. "I guess this proves that you couldn't be the one throwing around dirty laundry around. How this statement had, no one would know expect a unsuspecting older mare sitting at a bus station about a week from now.

"The clothes smell would be too much to bear in addition to your fear of being seen, understood," he paused, looking at the colt with his gleaming black tar eyes. he removed a flattened balloon, sticking it on the end of if his horn with a flicker of magic making grow to perfect size and knotting the end with a string. He floated it over to the colt, tying it to his ear with a careful pinch of magic. "Your reward for being innocence."

Funfact turned to the mare he had almost bumped as lifted a orange that had fallen from the bag, letting his eyes grace over it with a subtle intensity. "It seems that a fruit has escaped." he said softly before offering to him. "You should return to that mare, or you and I will be thieves of chance."

The asphalt had dried, leaving only wet patches as the sun creeped out from the clouds, being almost too bright. Reminding everyone sun rain was a rare encounter. "Feel free to meet me here." He removed a note pad, with had a large metal badge on the front, which was quickly flipped, making it hard to tell what it represented. "Here is the address to my Flat. Feel free to come by so we can begin investigating. Chow."

Without another word he placed the orange on the ground, turning on heel and walking towards his flat.

He closed his eyes as leaned against the freshly polished door in his flat, awaiting the colt's arrival. It is likely he would have done the same thing regardless if there was someone coming over. He might just past off the events of the colt as another cold case if the colt choose never to come.

His eyes wandered the room as he took short breaths when the lack of oxygen affected his thoughts. The floor was a rich wood, polished with a white rug with little flowery designs on it. What stood above it was a low standing table with various things atop it. This week it was stacks of gossip magazines that Funfact had been trying to find a hidden message in. There simply is no way a filly could be caught for so many PUI (Pulling a cart under the influence) Facing either side was two white love seats.

Behind the one to the left of the door when you enter is navy blue curtains that if drew back show a tall window. Connecting to the living room, only being deed it's own place by the small counter between them sits fridge with tan color too it. The dining table is stacked with books and half opened letters, and at times a plate or cup. Also a few legos.