Religious Differences

"3"

The busy Manehattan intersection was, as usual, filled with ponies bustling about on important business.

"2"

It was all very efficient, no traffic jams, no recorded crashes in the history of the city. Very clean, very harmonious.

"1"

Snake Eyes stood on a roof overlooking the intersection. She pressed a button.

In exactly four points, each corner of the intersection, exploded in a fabulous ploom of whipped cream.

The white, fluffy substance instantly flooded the crossroad, causing a number of ponies to yelp in alarm and a school carriage full of fillies screamed in absolute delight. After seeing a sufficient number of screaming, hysteric ponies and fillies running around, frolicking in the frothy diary product as their exasperated teachers attempted unsuccessful to corral them back in their sticky and unmovable schoolbus, Snake Eyes nodded in a satisfactory fashion and started to walk calmly across the rooftops away from the scene of the crime.


She hopped from one building to the next, taking care not to get any dirt on her fancy blazer or lose her signature reflective aviators. She casually removed wanted poster with her face on it as she halted for a moment.

"Angel?" She called out and waited cautiously. After waiting for a couple seconds she turned to go down the fire escape. She grinned to herself a job most definitely well done. She could feel the chaos from that one, and whipped cream? Who'd have seen that coming? No casualties, plenty of mess, and a nice garnish of happy foals to boot. All in the name of discord.

The bus had left for the field trip at precisely at 9:40 AM, to avoid the morning traffic. Funfact began sitting on the back of the bus at 9:14 AM. His eyes were black like tar with seem to flicker in different directions as they passed by things, never seeming to blink. He had recently came to Manehatten for reasons only the older gentlemen on the train he sat next to would know. The older gentle switched trains when they made the stop before here. He had then wandered the streets, only stopping in a nearby hotels to sleep for a few hours.

Only this morning did he decided to sit on the end of the bus and catch a ride. He began monologue as they approached the Bomb-proof Street and Jeanette. "This place has decided to be the opposite of Truth, using lies as the currency and the air they breath. Though it rains often here it could not wash away the deceit, for it's here," He touched his heart as they stopped at the light. A colt noticed him on the back of the bus and stared at him. Funfact was white in coat color and had a messy jungle that only someone with high perception could notice he tried to comb it. Funfact's unblinking eyes looked at him as he spoke. "They make street lights red because it is the hardest color to see at night.."

The colt stood their confused for a moment before the street erupted into whipped cream, causing panic as the fashion minded ponies screamed as their expense clothe were ruined and everyone began running about. A few stood laughing, for they hadn't been 'whipped' while their friends had.

However Funfact stood up with a blank expression, walking calmly among the yelling ponies, who were panicking in every direction. He began speaking to himself before licking his whipped hoof. "I am glad I did not have a cup of coffee, for had this had gotten in I would have tasted a sweetened lie instead of the boiling Truth."

He looked each way as he eyes drank the world like it fit in a cup. "Like the Hemileia vastatrix fungus that kills the coffee plant their is chaos around me, it clear that it was intentional. Truth is difficult to find in Chaos, for others use it to create fake teeth and sweet distractions to hid the true purpose.. Today. I will bring order so I might find the truth."


He reached into his hind pouch to removed a folded up cloth with tools inside it as he went to the nearest fire hydrant methodically, turning off the smallest end of the of the side till it burst foff, shooting water onto the street. A few ponies began staring at him as he went the the other side of the street and began repeating the action. Slowly over time the ponies in the streets began just watching, expect for the foals who now played in the water. The teacher, now giving up was washing her hooves in the jets of water. The water began dragging the whipped piles away as Funfact returned to the middle of the street to gather evidence.

Snake Eyes glanced down the street to be greeted by the sight of a clean street.

suspiciously clear of whipped cream...

Snake Eyes groaned. It had taken quite some time to prepare that 'prank' and she did not feel like going through the painstaking preparation that it took to get another one ready.

She looked about and adjusted her shades. She casually walked to a series of pipes on one side of the street. She took out a couple round balls and stuck them in the pipe.

She lit a match and carefully set the fuses on her cherry bombs.

As she walked away, she heard the satisfactory sputtle of a businesspony who got a suprise bath from the pipes exploding.

The water from the hydrants that Funfact set off in conjunction with the exploded pipes started to fill the street with water. Snake Eyes whistled as she sauntered through the now watery streets.

Funfact wore a smug expression as he rose from middle of the street as the water drenched the bottom of him. "Like water we must endure the heat of the sun, praying never to disappear, only to relish in the memory we have disappeared into fog, clouds and rain so many times. We always return to the scene of the the crime," His mouth close tight as he walked in hooves deep water to follow the mare, letting himself get within distant before he gained a complacent expression before he spoke. "Patterns are what make quilts interesting. Though they do not cure nightmares.." He looked on the verge of emotion for a moment, yet only a still face and large black tar eyes stared as he followed behind.

Snake Eyes rounded a corner and continued walking until she reached dry land.

"Patterns are... quilts interesting. Though... not cure night..." She heard snippets of some old stallion rambling behind her as she wandered through Manehattan. She wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but she had been around things that didn't make sense for a very long time.

She passed through a side street and decided to sit down at a cafe. Just because. She didn't order yet, but perused the menu as she set a bit on its edge.

She took the salt shaker and tipped it over, the shaker pushing the bit off of the table and causing it to roll. The rolling bit passed by two delivery mares delivering a mirror. A certain blonde, wall-eyed pegasus noticed the bit and giggled as she leaned over to pick it up. Her partner shrieked as the mirror tipped over and shattered on top of the head of a well-to-do business stallion on his way to work. The stallion, (Dazed by the mirror smashing his head) staggered under a ladder set out to help a shop owner set up his sign, causing the ladder to tip over and fall unto a crate with holes in it.

The crate burst open, setting forth a burst of black, fluffy cats who ran everywhere.



Snake Eyes watched in amusement as she adjusted her aviator shades. She silently chuckled as she ordered a macchiato from the stunned waitress.

Funfact continued his rants behind snake eyes as he walked down the the behind behind her. Till she sat at the cafe. He stood behind the gate closing off the cafe's tables as he watched the salt end cause bedlam. He seem to be more focused on counting the amount of hardened gum on the other side of the street, well till the cats burst from the crate. Funfact jumped up, quickly using a large cloud of magic colored the same as his eyes to remove a few tables as he used stacked chairs to climb to the top where he sat looking the cats ran out into the street.

He had moved the tables in a perfect stack to let him have access if he wished to jump onto the roof. He had climbed with the skills of a acrobat. Perhaps he had experiences in circus trick? Only a toy alligators in the lost and found, a older mare who sold beard and a clown knew the real answer.

His black tar eyes scope down at Snake eyes, on the border of emotion. "I do not trust cats." He stated plainly.

A strange old stallion instantly jumped up onto a stack of tables he made with his literal black magic. Luckily, Snake Eye's was not one of them and she received her hot beverage unperturbed.

She laughed uproariously at the stallion, so much so that her glasses almost fell off. Revealing a glimpse of red iris and... Before anypony got a good look at her pupils, Snake Eyes replaced her black aviators on her face and stared up at the Stallion. "Ah can see that." She chuckled a bit from the peculiar site of a grown stallion afraid of something as silly as cats.

"You goin t'h come down from there or what?" she asked with a shit eating grin on her face.

"We climb to the top of the mountain, feeling our body shake as other freeze to painting's faces around us. With only will to drive us up." He climbed down the tables, letting himself half slip off before grabbing a different part of the table to hang for a moment a few feet from the ground. "When we reach the top we gaze out into loneliness.. Seeing that there was no truth, but the one we carried on our backs."

He released his grip before landing on the ground, standing up to remove the chair on the other side of Snake Eyes table. "I cannot sit at a table with someone who trusts cat's. It's one of my rules." he said with a smug expression as walked around, his face devoid of emotion and his steps as quiet as the cats he seemed to detest. "However I never leave a table if invited. I am normally thrown from restaurants when I sneak into the back." He said calmly as he perched himself next to her on the ground. "So I will sit here, under your two Red giant's and dark intentions. Today. I solve the mystery of today, proving in this moment how and who committed this crime."

"Sounds like a dumb set of rules. you can't leave but you won't sit down? I dunno 'bout you but that seems a liddle Di-ha-bilitatin'." She sipped her drink and adjusted her shades. "Besides! I don't like cats. I'm more... eh... a little apathetic, you dig?"

"So I will sit here, under your two Red giant's and dark intentions. Today. I solve the mystery of today, proving in this moment how and who committed this crime."

Snake Eyes' snorted on the mention of her 'two Red giants' "Was that an Eye joke?"

He lifted his blank expression and gleaming eyes to focus at the mare with a twinkle of curiosity. "Once a clown said that he thought I was funny, but not humorous. I have have never laughed, nor have I ever been prescribed laughter as a medicine." He said cryptically as he leaned forward to bend his back as he adjusted himself in strange, yet seemingly comfortable position next to Snake Eyes on the ground by her chair. "Though I was able to learn how to make balloon animals. My quickest make is a dolphin."

He blinked for the first time since you have meet him as his smug expression returned to his face. "Red the color of passion and also of shorten life. Too live as if a flickering flame, fueled by only by breaking down others. I will discover who caused the ruckus on the street I met you. I will need your eye witness testimony. You were at a high place at the time of the event."

"Though I was able to learn how to make balloon animals. My quickest make is a dolphin."

"Dolphins are lame. Snake's are better." Snake Eyes stated with what seemed as a matter-of-fact expression on her face. "Don' dismiss th' clowns tho." She stated, waggling her hoof at the ancient stallion sitting on the floor as if she was lecturing a younger foal. "Fools and Jesters were once known as wise men, using humor and satire to tell poignant fables and lessons."

"Red the color of passion and also of shorten life. Too live as if a flickering flame, fueled by only by breaking down others. I will discover who caused the ruckus on the street I met you. I will need your eye witness testimony. You were at a high place at the time of the event."

Snake Eyes let in a quick inhalation of breath.

"No." She stated, Quite flatly. "You aint got no right to ask me nuthin. Not unlessss you're ssssome rep of the Kingdom, and I don't ssssee no idea on your wrinkly ol' plot. I know my rightssss." she sniffed haughtily and sipped her drink.

He stared at the mare for what seemed like too long before turning his body towards her as he removed a notepad from his left leg pouch and flipped it over with a pen floating to press to the page before he shook his head. "Truth must fit into collars jackets and back alley deals in order to become justice. I seek only truth and rid myself of using red tape to contain lies. I am a seeker of Truth." He said with a little tone as he began writing.

"I am happy to have learned more about clowns though. I have always enjoyed facts. For in the twenty five years I have lived I was called Funfact, so I have always collected things with my name on it." He pen began writing faster as his eyelids closed for a moment as he seem to take everything in. "Now to hear your account. You were the the only one who could have seen the event. I couldn't 'I-Spy' from my position."

"Truth must fit into collars jackets and back alley deals in order to become justice. I seek only truth and rid myself of using red tape to contain lies. I am a seeker of Truth."

Snake Eyes usually can keep up with some of the more philosophical metaphorical nonsense. Hell, for her entire childhood until she left the house she was surrounded by karmic irony and cryptic metaphors.

She must have been out of practice, because she could not understand a word this stallion was speaking. Something about the difference between Truth and Justice? Other than the fundamental differences she couldn't wrap her head around the core message of all this talk of Collars and Alleys and Red Tape.

"I am happy to have learned more about clowns though. I have always enjoyed facts. For in the twenty five years I have lived I was called Funfact, so I have always collected things with my name on it." He pen began writing faster as his eyelids closed for a moment as he seem to take everything in. "Now to hear your account. You were the the only one who could have seen the event. I couldn't 'I-Spy' from my position."

"Well Guy... uh... Funfact. I can't really help ya. Sure I was up high but I couldn't see the culprit. I likes me a nice view when I go for a smoke you know? From what I saw, I would say that job took a while to set up. A lotta whipped cream and a lotta preparation to make it explode like that. If the shmuck was a unicorn, then detonation of any explosive would be real easy. A pegasi could just use a well placed thunder cloud, but there wasn't really any thunderclouds at all I could see. Now an earth pony would use something like a remote detonator or something wired. Not gonna lie tho, Whipped cream? This jokah's got a funny sense of humah."

Snake Eyes was good at a couple things in life. One of them was telling the truth (albeit a very selective version of the truth). She couldn't see the culprit because that would entail looking into a mirror, and she did in fact enjoy smoking while taking in the skyline from up high. she considers all these factors of how to detonate said bomb because about a week ago, she planned the whole gosh darn thing. Damn be to her crummy beliefs system, but she just couldn't pull these kind of high target pranks without some prior preparation, Tenets of Discordianism be damned.

As she spoke the notepad was filled with words, each scratch would keep pace with her words as he gave her his most avid intention. The waiter pour a fresh, sparkling glass of water before returning to the center station to discover they had run out of spoons.

He wrote the last of her statement before closing the notepad, slowing sneaking back into his hind leg pack. "Milk snow is beaten cream. Never knowing the love of cook's gentle touch. They frost the tops of coffee, hiding it's bitter Truth. That's why I take it black." He said with a smug expression as he watched as the sun reflected the light from the recently filled glass.

"Though I am surprised," Though his renewed blank expression didn't seem to show it. "You have deduced much, yet it is already clear to me who did this. I could have only been me." He stood up suddenly before wiping his legs. "I shall go to the police and turn myself in, taking full credit for the event. With this it will bring order to our troubled hearts."

Snake Eyes was impressed at the speed the elder stallion copied her words.

"Milk snow is beaten cream. Never knowing the love of cook's gentle touch. They frost the tops of coffee, hiding it's bitter Truth. That's why I take it black."

"Oh. Well... uh. I just take it with cream cus I... ya know... like it."

She started taking a sip of her coffee.

"Though I am surprised," Though his renewed blank expression didn't seem to show it. "You have deduced much, yet it is already clear to me who did this. I could have only been me."

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF" Snake Eyes sprayed the coffee out onto a bush. She spat and sputtered for a few seconds before taking a deep breath. "Well. Gotta say I did not see that one coming."

He was lying. He knew it (unless he was senile). And she knew it too.

"I shall go to the police and turn myself in, taking full credit for the event. With this it will bring order to our troubled hearts."

"So, uh... Mr. Fact. Why such a elaborate charade? I mean if you did do the dirty deed (Which I honestly think you did not) why go through the trouble of investigating it, only to turn yourself in?"

Funfact was raising to leave, stopping half way from getting up as he turned his attention to the pony, letting bits of drink roll down his face. He slowly breathed in till his filled his lungs till they were full an released it in gust, lightly disturbing the table clothe. "Manually I drank air, but more of the time I do it without thinking. Who is to say I could not commit a crime without thinking. Naturally I must be in need of medical attention. To cause this chaos without purpose.." He seemed almost sad, on the verge of self disappointment, but a small, yet still smug smile crawled over his face. "Though you have been very helpful in the investigation of myself. You make a good detective."

Looking unfazed by the strange position he was standing he fully rose, wiping his face with his hoof. "When I turn myself in the chaos will have been for nothing. When I put away they will have face for the evil, making be bond and tied by order. Restoring Harmony to our hearts. Perhaps a white room would be good for me."

He put forward his hooves, having a pinch of black colored magic remove cuffs from his leg pack. "Take me under citizen's arrest and I shall pay for my crime. You will be a key witness in court."

Snake Eyes stared at the stallion as she would some odd aberration.
((TIME TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE A CONSISTENT ACCENT))
"you ah' the most lahgical bein' I evah met." Snake Eyes said with more than a hint of disgust.

"Because. I mean..." He chuckled out of exasperation. "I hea' what ya sayin. I really do. It all makes sense an all that."

"LAHGICALLY speakin, you do alot of things without thinking, why not criminal Ahcti-vi-ties? Turn yahself in? No Problem-o! Everythin's fine an' dandy! No reprocussions fo' the communinity aht lahrge."

She took the hoof cuffs and took out a pair of mini wire cutters. She cut the chain in half. "Harmony is a horrible thing in excess. Harmony is the sorta thing that makes ponies lives monotonous an' droning on an on an on until one day..." She made a motion of cocking a gun and placed the imaginary gun to her head. She grimaced as she pulled the imaginary trigger, giving quite an accurate and almost too realistic (albeit pantomimed) suicide.

She got up and paced around the stallion.

"BLAM! No mo' monotony. No mo' droning. No mo' harmony. I mean don' get me wrong, Mistah' Fact. I love me some harmony every now an then. I love me some good ol' fashion teamwork an friendship."

She sat down. "But If I denied the world that iddy bit of chaos. If I undid what some carefully discordant hoof put into play?" She frowned and shook her head. "How many ponies wouldn't be able to say 'ay, guess what happened on mah day to work?'"

"How many school fillies got to spend a day outta class adventurin' with their friends because some shmuck blew up a bunch of whipped cream in the street! Maybe some office drone on the verge of offin' himself just had a fantastic day because he didn't have to go to work an he could stay home with his family!" She poked the stallions chest. "I say: T'hell with your damn harmony. We gots too much o'that already."

Defiantly, she sat down and crossed her hooves over her chest. "I don hav'ta take you under no citizen's arrest. I ain't bein no witness."

She nodded. "an thats that."

Snake Eyes stared at the stallion as she would some odd aberration.
((TIME TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE A CONSISTENT ACCENT))
"you ah' the most lahgical bein' I evah met." Snake Eyes said with more than a hint of disgust.

"Because. I mean..." He chuckled out of exasperation. "I hea' what ya sayin. I really do. It all makes sense an all that."

"LAHGICALLY speakin, you do alot of things without thinking, why not criminal Ahcti-vi-ties? Turn yahself in? No Problem-o! Everythin's fine an' dandy! No reprocussions fo' the communinity aht lahrge."

She took the hoof cuffs and took out a pair of mini wire cutters. She cut the chain in half. "Harmony is a horrible thing in excess. Harmony is the sorta thing that makes ponies lives monotonous an' droning on an on an on until one day..." She made a motion of cocking a gun and placed the imaginary gun to her head. She grimaced as she pulled the imaginary trigger, giving quite an accurate and almost too realistic (albeit pantomimed) suicide.

She got up and paced around the stallion.

"BLAM! No mo' monotony. No mo' droning. No mo' harmony. I mean don' get me wrong, Mistah' Fact. I love me some harmony every now an then. I love me some good ol' fashion teamwork an friendship."

She sat down. "But If I denied the world that iddy bit of chaos. If I undid what some carefully discordant hoof put into play?" She frowned and shook her head. "How many ponies wouldn't be able to say 'ay, guess what happened on mah day to work?'"

"How many school fillies got to spend a day outta class adventurin' with their friends because some shmuck blew up a bunch of whipped cream in the street! Maybe some office drone on the verge of offin' himself just had a fantastic day because he didn't have to go to work an he could stay home with his family!" She poked the stallions chest. "I say: T'hell with your damn harmony. We gots too much o'that already."

Defiantly, she sat down and crossed her hooves over her chest. "I don hav'ta take you under no citizen's arrest. I ain't bein no witness."

She nodded. "an thats that."