My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
Welcome to the forum! Here we aim to have fun role playing your own OC ponies and chat with your fellow bronies. Please say hi to us in the forum chatroom at the bottom of the home page and look at the rules to help get you started.
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
Welcome to the forum! Here we aim to have fun role playing your own OC ponies and chat with your fellow bronies. Please say hi to us in the forum chatroom at the bottom of the home page and look at the rules to help get you started.
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
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My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

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 Scarlet Radmaine

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Scarlet Redmaine




Posts : 1
Join date : 2014-11-23
Location : DK

Scarlet Radmaine Empty
PostSubject: Scarlet Radmaine   Scarlet Radmaine I_icon_minitimeSun Nov 23, 2014 9:52 pm

Scarlet Redmaine

Scarlet Radmaine Ir2stz

Gender: Female
Species: Unicorn
Mane: Red and bushy, her mane covers her left eye.
Tail: Red and bushy, semi long.
Eyes: Right eye: blue, Left eye: red
Body: Limegreen, small and a little underweight, not enough for other ponies to notice.
Cutie Mark: None yet.
Age (Baby,adult): 10 years (human years) (Young teen I guess?)
Personality: Shy but curios and adventures
Likes: Knowledge, watching other foals play, exploring, reading, cuddle up under her duvet, play with animals,  sweets, broccoli and etc. and napping under a tree and bright sunlight.
Dislikes: Magic, other ponies her age, the everfree forest, being alone in the dark, high and sudden sounds, hospitals, bullies foals as adults,  

History:
Scarlets parents died in a magic explosion when she was 4 years old, she lives in an orphanage outside of Ponyville, but often runs of to where she might feel for, but she offen runs of the Canterlot.
she earn bits on the orphanage when she does her chores, or sell stuff she finds when she explore a new place.

Example RP segment:
1:
As Scarlet walked down the streets of Canterlot, she heard a wet and scared voice calling out "Mom, where are you?" the voice cried out, Scarlet turned her head, to see if others noticed it, as she saw the nobels and richponies walking by without stopping to help the voices owner, Scarlet was filled with a feeling of disdain. How they could go back to theres a safe environment without being influenced by the weeping voice was far away from her understanding.

When she was near the voice, she saw a little colt with watery eyes and ears laid back, it was obvious that the little guy was afraid of never seeing his mother again. She was slightly jealous and mad at him. why was he even walked away from its mother? She didn't even have one to get lost from...

She shook her head, took a deep encouraging breath, secured that her mane covered her left eye and cautiously gently poked the crying foal on his flank.

"Do you need help finding your mother?" she asked, the little foal nodded hiccuping, she smiled weakly and asked where he last saw her before he got lost. He sniffled a few times before he answered "near the jewels shop on the same street with the candied apples .."
Scarlet nodded, "Why don't we go there first and look for her then?" the little guy nodded and together they walked through the streets until the scent of candied apples hit them.

Scarlet and the colts stomachers growled simultaneously and the both started to laugh. "Do you want a candy apple?" Scarlet asked, the colt nodded and licked his lips as he pointed out the one he wanted. Scarlet took 5 bits up of her saddlebag and handed them to the shopkeeper who gave each of them an apple glittering from the caramel on it.
As they where about to take a bite a shrill voice cut through the crowd of ponies "Ral BronzeFast!!!!", and a mare came galloping down the street, the little guy turned his head with a jerk with erect ears and shouted enthusiastically back "Mommy!!" he dropped his apple as he galloped towards her, and Scarlet just managed to grab it before it hit the ground, with her magic, which she only used for basic things like carrying stuff without having to use one of her hooves, it was practically impossible to walk and eat at the same time if a pony wasn't a unicorn, her conviction on this was strong.

Scarlet trotted after him with both apples in front of her, when they reached each other Scarlet got tears in her eyes, there was so much joy oozing from both of them that she couldn't help to be affected.
She blinked as Ral pulled his mother towards her while talking about how much she helped him find her.
After a short introduction, some small talk and a little reward on 15 bits mother and son walked towards their home, before Scarlet turned around Ral looked backward and waved at her before turning his attention back on his mom.

Scarlet smiled, it had been a fun day, and she decided to take the train back to ponyville the spend the night in a room on "The waving rabbit" instead of walk home to the orphanage.

[Acceptance]
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Amber Flash

Amber Flash


Posts : 1178
Join date : 2012-05-12
Age : 29
Location : Canada, eh

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PostSubject: Re: Scarlet Radmaine   Scarlet Radmaine I_icon_minitimeSun Nov 23, 2014 10:47 pm

Ok looking good so far, just two things I want you to work on a bit more.

Fist of all I would like to see a little more to your character's history. Such as what kind of magical explosion? where is the Orphanage? Does she enjoy it? I just want to see you flesh out your character a bit more.

Second thing is how your character seems to be completely free from the orphanage she lives in. Although we do allow people to roleplay foals, it doesnt make sense that a young child lives in an orphanage yet can ride the rails and stay in hotels. If you saw a ten year old kid traveling by themselves and checking into hotels, you'd be worried.

Just fix those things up and it should be good to go!
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