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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:05 am | |
| Sprocket(sorry, I don't have a good pic of her...) Gender:Mare Species:Unicorn Mane:A brown mane, similar to Rainbow Dash's in shape, but slightly messier, but sometimes she has it very smooth for special occasions. Tail:Just like the mane, only about half the length.(give or take) Eyes: Green... and they look normal Body: She has an average mare's body, maybe a little on the slim side. She also has two mechanical limbs, one on the front left, and one on the back right Cutie Mark:A gear with two wrenches crossing. A similar shape to a skull and crossbones, only the wrenches are in front of the gear Age (Baby,adult):adult Personality:She's nice to friends, she can quickly friend sonepony new. She doesn't take kindly to somepony harming another she cares about whether it be physical or emotional. Likes:Machinery, vehicles, and other things of the sort. Dislikes:She dislikes unreliable tools, and broken machinery. She has a tendency to get a sudden urge to fix broken mechanical things. History:She doesn't remember most of it, but she does remember that most of her family is gone. Example RP segment: Sprocket walked out of her house, not noticing the grease stain on her muzzle, as she had many times before to see a foal, crying on the side of the street. She looked at the foal, a little filly. The filly had adorable features and would grow up to be beautiful. Sprocket walked up to her and gently pulled her off the street. "Is something wrong? Do you know where your parents are?" She asked as the filly retorted that obviously something was wrong and that she just learned of her father's death. This triggered a flashback of a traumatic memory for Sprocket as tears stained her eyes. "I-I'm so sorry... I know how that feels... more so actually. I must've gone too far down that road..." She hugged the filly tightly. As tempted as she was to give her the 'you don't know how it feels' routine, she didn't need that at that particular moment. "Where's your mom?" Sprocket asked the filly as the two made their way back to where she last saw her mother. [Acceptance]
Last edited by Sprocket on Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:07 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Derp... I forgot the name...) | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 12:24 am | |
| HIYA AND WELCOME TO THE FORUM!! *Party poppers* I'm Doodle Bug, your friendly neighborhood Admin!! ^^ YIIII I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEW MEMBERS!!!! *Clears throat* Ok, now to the app!
The personality and history needs to be a bit longer, can you add a few more lines of text? say about 3? An example for this is how does she feel about her likes and dislikes when she encounters them. Saying she doesn't remember her history doesn't mean she doesn't have one ^^. I'm also not sure about the mechanical limbs as Equestria isn't very familiar with much technology... But prosthetics can be just as good ^^
The picture link is broken but it doesn't matter all that much as long as you describe her well in the other areas. Her history should also include her family life, Siblings (if any and how they interacted), Idols (if any) and how she got her cutie mark! :) | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:28 am | |
| - Doodle Bug wrote:
- HIYA AND WELCOME TO THE FORUM!! *Party poppers* I'm Doodle Bug, your friendly neighborhood Admin!! ^^ YIIII I'M SO EXCITED FOR NEW MEMBERS!!!! *Clears throat* Ok, now to the app!
The personality and history needs to be a bit longer, can you add a few more lines of text? say about 3? An example for this is how does she feel about her likes and dislikes when she encounters them. Saying she doesn't remember her history doesn't mean she doesn't have one ^^. I'm also not sure about the mechanical limbs as Equestria isn't very familiar with much technology... But prosthetics can be just as good ^^
The picture link is broken but it doesn't matter all that much as long as you describe her well in the other areas. Her history should also include her family life, Siblings (if any and how they interacted), Idols (if any) and how she got her cutie mark! :) Her mechanical legs are not electronic, they're just mechanical. Like steam and gears and things. That technically is supported by the show due to their heavy use of trains and other forms of steam-based machinery(think about Flim and Flam's cider machine thing and Applebloom's bug catchng thing.) It is true that her not remembering her history doesn't mean it doesn't exist is true, but her backstory is a bit violent... but if you really want me to tell, okay... She was born into a poor family with an abusive father. Her uncle helped her and her mother run away. At some point, when she was still young, they met near the Apploosian Mountains. The father (Who hasn't really been named, he's kinda just a filler character, open for interpretation.) killed most of the family members there. The uncle had pretended to die from loss of internal fluid (Trying to keep it from being outright the red stuff) as the father started to Sprocket. He cut off two of her limbs before the uncle limped his way over and ended the father's life. He got her patched up, taught her the basics of machinery, and set her off on her own. As for how she got her CM, that's not nearly as dark and depressing. She had been at a foster home in Ponyville for a while. The adults had let her study and work with machinery, as that was the only thing she seemed to posses an interest in. One day, one of the adults brought her some miscellaneous parts, Sprocket smiled ecstatically and rushed to her room where she finished putting the final touches on what looked like a mechanical fairy. She used a spell on it to make light power it and another to give it a personality. The fairy fluttered to life and she gained her CM and a lifetime friend. This fairy would later be named Gear and would accompany her everywhere. Kinda like Spike, only Gear communicates through mechanical clicks, chirps, and whirrs. | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:35 am | |
| Also, for as detailed of a description as I can give of her looks: She has shiny, but usually messy light brown hair that she sometimes does up smooth and pretty for special occasions. This might include gatherings(Grand Galloping Gala, Equestria Games, ect.) or some parties. Her fur is a light silvery grey. She is about average height for a mare her age. She's about average weight too, if not ever so slightly underweight. Her horn is a fairly standard looking horn. She has brilliant light green eyes. Her front left leg is mechanical(specifying mechanical, not robotic) as well as her rear right. Her CM as I described earlier is a gear with two wrenches crossing. It's similar to a skull and crossbones, only the wrenches are in front of the gear. Let's see if I can at least give a pic of her CM... https://i.servimg.com/u/f18/19/26/08/99/1sproc10.png | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 2:39 am | |
| And Gear looks like a copper ball with four blue wings, a roundish thing in the front that ponies can only assume is his eye. He has two gears with screws on either side, holding him together and a tiny intricate gearbox in the back. | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 3:29 am | |
| Sprocket's personality: She's kind to everypony she cares about and can easily make friends. But it's almost as easy for her to make enemies. When somepony threatens another she cares about, she will let loose her anger. She doesn't want to cause any problems, but she'll do anything for those she cares about, even if that means she's putting herself in harm's way. | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:22 am | |
| Alright, that works but You can use that history if you toned down the violence and gore just a lot ^^ It can still happen but put as other words. Just like: "She didn't get along well with her family..." Yadda yadda. :) (So sorry I'm so late at this, it's 3 in the morning and I'm supposed to be sleeping XD) Did anything good happen in her history? Friends she's made to help her grow in spirit and mind? | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:43 am | |
| Over her years, she's made many friends and yes, they help her grow in spirit and mind.
I kinda figured you wouldn't want people to typically see her backstory word for word... | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 12:59 am | |
| Well maybe not word for word but this is a PG13 site So maybe dilute the deaths and up the good stuff? ^^' | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:27 am | |
| How about an explosion? That(surprisingly) is quite a bit less violent and bloody | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 1:41 am | |
| Ok, I spoke with the other Admins and they agreed that the history did go a wee bit too far >.< But dampened, it could work. And the second part about the fairy goes along with the rules: - The rules wrote:
- 3. OCs will not be approved if their characterization does not follow a rational scheme. Ponies do not have special abilities extending beyond racial attributes. Ponies are only as stylistically modern as the Equestrian setting permits. Ordinary ponies do not live in or originate from the Everfree forest. For a list of regions and their corresponding themes, refer to |this topic|.
4. OCs will not be approved if their role in Equestrian society is exaggerated beyond reason. Ponies may not have royal statuses, special elements, or other attributes that center society around the single character. 5. Remember that we are an OC forum. To ensure approval, avoid incorporating characters from the show into OC histories. 6. Members intending to employ Grimdark themes in OC histories must be able to apply such themes in a meaningful fashion. Instead of creating reasonless antagonisms, recognize that even evildoers have justifications for their actions. Mental disorders are serious characteristics and should be given thorough consideration before potential incorporation. With the fairy, you essentially created life which is a huge no no since not even the princesses could do that. :/ That explosion thing could work but there are also grammatical errors that need overlooking as well. ^^ | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:00 am | |
| The fairy isn't alive, its spell that it runs on has a set of algorithms attached that creates a set amount of responses to everything it comes across. Gear isn't a living entity, he doesn't have the ability to grow or reproduce. His personality is purely synthetic as well as everything else that he's made of aside from the magic. Sprocket did not create life by designing a machine to serve as a companion/assistant. She created an emulation of life that is typically predictable in all situations | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 2:06 am | |
| As for the grammatical errors, I do not know what you mean. The grammar is definitely understandable and is like natural English, only ponified | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 3:18 am | |
| I heavily apologize but some of the sentences are very choppy. >~< Since there are no robots in Equestria, I don't think the ability to create synthetic life or other would be nearly accomplishable. Sure trains are there but they are constantly fed coal and powered by the ponies inside. So one to work on it's own would seem a bit advanced for the certain time zone the show contains. Magic to sustain something that long would be Alicorn level and even Cadence couldn't sustain a spell that long. (Granted it was just a shield around the empire but eventually everything wears out and must be concentrative at all hours and all times to keep it running. She wasn't able to eat or sleep for weeks. | |
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Sprocket
Posts : 11 Join date : 2015-06-28
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Tue Jun 30, 2015 4:19 am | |
| For one, the spell powers itelf. It is powered from light. In the case that there is no light whatsoever in a situation, sure, Sprocket would have to cast the spells again, but that's highly unlikely for Gear to be in such a situation, because typically, there is light around.
As for the technology... apparently it wouldn't be far fetched for Equestria to have simple mechanism powered robots such as Gear due to how far it has actually come. I hadn't remembered previously, but there are several big cities that would need electricity to be powered. (like Manehatten and Applewood)
As for the choppy sentences, give me examples of some of them and I'll try to fix it. Part of the issue could be due to adapting the backstory from its original, uncut version. | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Sprocket Wed Jul 01, 2015 9:48 pm | |
| "She's kind to everypony she cares about and can easily make friends. But it's almost as easy for her to make enemies. When somepony threatens another she cares about, she will let loose her anger. She doesn't want to cause any problems, but she'll do anything for those she cares about, even if that means she's putting herself in harm's way."
This part seems a bit choppy. :) And Allowing this fairy will compromise our trying to come as close to canon as possible. (As well as cause problems down the line for others wanting more and more advancements completely shying away form the canon as possible. So even a magic sustaining device isn't allowed. It'd be fine if it was a rat or pet-something. I'm sorry :( | |
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