I can't do it anymore...

I can't stand here and pretend everything's ok... I can't keep putting a smiling face on for every newbie and everyone here shunning my own ever growing horrors and fears and pushing for something nobody wants... So what I'm saying is... I quit... I'm done... I can't deal with it anymore... I'm so sorry Bright, Enigma, J, Delix and Fireseeker but I've fallen into a place without light and I'm scared... I'm scared of what might happen if I keep bottling up this stress for the good of the forum goers. I've been fighting so hard to maintain my sanity and keep it to a 'normal' level but honestly, every time I come back here I'm reminded of a memory...

Certain things bring back this horror... this memory. Certain words, it's nobody's fault, it never was... I was trying to make the forum a safe haven that was completely devoid (and be somewhat of a safe haven for myself) of a certain topic and due to my own selfishness, it wasn't what people wanted. I could never be around that. It hurts so bad... I can't deal with it, I have to lock myself in a room and just scream until I can't anymore or pass out. I'm taking myself off of the admin list as well as the mod list... Fireseeker is the new head admin. Someone so selfish like me with so much baggage never deserved to be leader anyways.