PrincessLunaoftheNight
Posts : 8 Join date : 2012-06-07 Age : 35
| Subject: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:23 pm | |
| StarfireGender: Male Species: Unicorn Mane: Bright Orange Fire Tail: Bright Orange Fire Eyes: A red orange that glow like embers Body: A deep velvety black Cutie Mark: A blazing comet Age (Baby,adult): Young Adult Personality: Starfire is shy, but able to stand up for himself. He will be brash every now and then if he is trying to hard to not be shy Likes: Fire, Friends, Protecting Equestria, The Princesses. Dislikes: Bullies, Evil People, Water. History: Starfire was born into a normal home in Ponyville to his parents Dewdrop and Morning Rose. He was a unicorn with black fur and a plain red mane and tail. At three, he welcomed a new little sister who was named Evening Blossom. She had a light lilac fur, and a pale pink mane and tail. They were inseparable, but at two, Evening Blossom died of a heart failure. Starfire was so upset, he locked himself into his room for days on end. Eventually, he began to get over his grief, but he never forgot her. When Starfire was 14, his parents said they were moving to Las Pegasus. Starfire refused to leave the hoe he has known for so long, even if it pained him to see his parents so upset at his refusal. Eventually they came to an agreement. If Starfire rented the house from them and kept it in good shape, he could stay. Starfire struggled at first, being only a junior guard but as he moved up in ranks, the rent seemed like only a bit of money. His parents occasionally visit, but it is rare, and even awkward sometimes. By 21 he was the head officer of Ponyville, who was below only the head guard and his assistant. He still feels insecure about his position, and has almost no friends because of his insecurities and lack of social skills. WIll he fit in? Will he become more confident? Will Equestra Girls ever get out of my head? I guess I will have to get approved to find out ;) Note: I changed this too follow the guidlines:) Sorry about the Mary-Sueness before.
Last edited by PrincessLunaoftheNight on Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:39 pm; edited 4 times in total | |
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Quill Tip
Posts : 164 Join date : 2012-02-21 Age : 29 Location : anywhere and nowhere
| Subject: Re: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:15 pm | |
| sorry, no alicorns, forum rule, also having Luna as Starfire's mother might be a little much | |
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Korenav Team Coordinator
Posts : 2471 Join date : 2011-11-21
| Subject: Re: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:29 pm | |
| Nope. Alicorns are not acceptable. Also you can't be related to a canon character, especially if its Luna being your mother. Head guard of ponyville is stretching it too.
This wont work at all. Did you read the rules and guidelines even? | |
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PrincessLunaoftheNight
Posts : 8 Join date : 2012-06-07 Age : 35
| Subject: Re: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:13 pm | |
| I revised it too fit the guidelines, I apologize for his previous Mary Sue ness lol | |
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Korenav Team Coordinator
Posts : 2471 Join date : 2011-11-21
| Subject: Re: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:21 pm | |
| If it were not Ponyville, the head guard thing might be alright depending on a few things, but with it being close to show standard, i am going to have to ask you to make it down a rank or two. Can't imagine Ponyville having too busy a hierarchy for law enforcement anyhow. 21 is too young for the head guard anyhow especially if he is shy.
Change that and its likely approvable. | |
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Korenav Team Coordinator
Posts : 2471 Join date : 2011-11-21
| Subject: Re: Starfire Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:37 pm | |
| Approved. Feel free to join us in the forum chatroom at the bottom of the main page! | |
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