Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams:

Gender: Mare
Species: Unicorn
Mane: A bright neon Blue
Tail: Same as mane
Eyes: Sunset pink
Body:Dark blue
Cutie Mark: none
Age (Baby,adult): 19
Personality: Not easy to anger but when she is watch out. Sweet dreams enjoys being around other ponies despite being a bit shy she always is trying to help others in need having learnt at a very young age that just because some pony doesn’t ask for help doesn’t mean they don’t need it.

Likes: Rain, Sweets, Apples, Music, Mares, Cutie mark stories

Dislikes: Stallions, Bittier things, Neon colors, being touched and yelling

History: Sweet dreams was born in Manehatten. She never knew her parents and never does for they abandoned her at a rundown orphanage and bullied by the other foals and ignored by the nursemaids until she was adopted by a wealthy mare and her husband at the age of 10. Just as Sweet dreams thought her nightmare was over she soon discovered it was just beginning as her foster father started to spend more time with her then his wife buying her nice things and ignore his wife almost altogether causing his wife to become cruel and jealous towards sweet dreams until after 4 years she couldn’t take it anymore. She ran away one rainy evening with only an old teddy bear and 50 bits to her name hoping to start a new life somewhere far away. A new happy life.

Example RP segment: (Refer to post below)
It is pouring rain outside. Your OC spots the light of a tavern up ahead. The tavern is filled with ponies that your OC doesn't know. Given your OC’s personality, compose a brief narrative in which your OC identifies and addresses the situation

Sweet dreams walked up the worn path as the cold rain was soaking her coat chilling her down to the bone as she looked for a place to sleep for the night. As she looked around she spots a light ahead of her causing her to quicken her pace as she came closer she saw the building where the light was coming from was a small tavern. Going inside hoping they still had a room open for her she sees many different pony some old some young enough to have just gotten their cutie marks. As she walked by each one she gave a kind smile to each of them along with a good evening as she makes her way to an older looking mare who seemed to be in charge. Giving a shy smile she asks if they still have a room open and some food to spare. The old mare replies with a simple nod and a kind smile and says “20 bits for room and a meal” Although Sweet dreams pays the pony with a smile she is sad to see more than half of the few bits she has leave so quickly and slowly walks up the stairs hoping that they had towels and warm water for a bath.
Acceptance

Hello Sweet Dreams! Welcome to the forum.

Your image does not display properly, which may be the effect of broken code.

Code:

[img]http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/030/a/1/sweetdreams_by_sewwtdream-d5t8zaa.png[/img]

That code should display your OC.

As Firework suggested in the chat box, please develop her personality further. Remember that your character should possess enough traits to remain interesting regardless of circumstance.

Although we do permit grim dark to an extent, your history needs revision in order to be brought into accordance with the themes in use on this site. Moreover, the 'abused and orphaned' character type is very common, and does not allow for a lot of character depth.

Lastly, please proofread to identify and correct some of the more obvious spelling/grammar mistakes.

If you have any additional questions, please feel free to ask them in the chat box at the bottom of the front page.

Thank you! Good luck with the editing.
1nc

better?

You're almost there.

Please clarify the term "special attention". Alone, it implies that her father practices something which we do not approve of on this forum.

Thanks.
1nc

fixed it

Your OC is approved.

However, you may want to continue to proofread for errors. It would help to make the application clearer for readers.

You may begin posting at your earliest convenience.

1nc