The Brawny Boys

Background: It seemed like an ordinary day in Equestria. Until Brawny got his hooves on a special machine. How special? It was a cloning machine! Yes, he could've used the pond thingy. But he didn't know too much about it. Besides, he had a machine that could do it right there! He cloned himself 50 times. But his clones didn't all come out so well.
#1-9 exploded as soon as they came out of the machine. #10-19 had the most resemblance to Brawny, but they were different variances. For example, #14 is a mare, #10 is a colt, #19 is a Unicorn, etc. #20-29 all had different personalities. #30-39 were either physically deformed or mentally challenged. #40-49 were the smartest of all the clones. #50 was nowhere to be found... We start just outside of Ponyville, where Brawny has his clones assembled. (When a clone talks, I'll put their number in front of their dialogue. For example, if #27 wanted to say Hello, it would look like this:
#27: "Hello friends")

This was a bit of trouble, Brawny organizing many different versions of himself. Hardly any of them are like him. He took a quick look over all of them. They had some resemblance to him. Except the thirties who had either missing or shrunken limbs and weak brains. Except for number 33, who just couldn't speak. Lucky him compared to the other ponies he was cloned with. 34 didn't even have a head! "Ok, so... What shall we do first?" Silence... Until #22 spoke up. #22:"Let's get weird!" #15: "PUB! PUB! BAR! BAR! TAVERN! TAVERN!" #31: "Me likey drinky" At least they were something like him... "Fine then. To the pub we go!" A roaring cheer came from the crowd of Brawnys. He learned a way to make them happy. But the forties stayed behind, since they were more intelligent than that

Order as of now: Brawny, Mcewanman, and Calla Lily

Jim was sitting in the local pub, having a quiet drink. A can of McEwan's was exactly what he needed after a tough day at the clinic. Of course, it had been pretty slow lately- ponies were pretty cautious, so if someone did need help it was pretty just slap on a plaster or prescribe them some sort of medicine and they were fine. Jim as starting to get a bit annoyed- he was getting close to knowing pretty much every disease or ailment he would be likely (and a good few unlikely) to come across in his career as a doctor. However, he was still a long way off- his mentor said to just be patient, there was still more for him to learn. Well what in the hay was he meant to learn?! If he just came out with it, Jim could just look it up and.....

Jim's thoughts were cut short by a stampede of ponies rushing into the pub.

Rez sitting on a cloud looking at the great view and relaxing thought to himself "I like it when its peacefull." Tthis is something Rez needed aftere a hard days work and running around.

Rez was starting to fall asleep when the peace was brutully interupted by a stampede of hooves entering the pub below. Out of curiosity he decided to take a look.

Rosella was on another routine trip to Ponyville. She hopped and skipped around town, buying flowers and tasting drinks and spreading cheer everywhere, to absolutely everypony! She passed the pub on her way to the cottage she was renting, but it was just so loud in there! Ooh, Rosie liked loud and happy, though she had never been in the pub. Who knows? Maybe she could charm her way around... Not to mention not many ponies had seen a crystal pony, and, ooh, she loved showing off her sparkles!

Rosie pranced in and practically exploded with glee. So many ponies! So many ponies to make friends with!

(I know it's been over a month since we last did this, but Mc and Sweet convinced me to attempt to revive it.)

The army of Brawnys marched into the pub, on the hunt for booze. If there's two things a Brawny likes, it's Heavy Metal and Cider. Since there was no Metal around, they decided to go for the booze. All of the clones were getting drinks, not all were payed for. But numbers 27 and 33 decided to stay behind, because they were the more rational, kind, and logical of the clones. So they sat outside, waiting for the clones to finish their drinking. Brawny wanted out too. There was too much for him to go around in that place. It was unbelievably crowded. Brawny grabbed his drink and sat outside with the other two, waiting for the chaos to settle down

"Aww ya bugger!"
Jim was knocked off his seat as the ponies stampeding into the pub sent him flying. His head spinning after falling back down, Jim saw copies of brawny, as you do when dazed.. As his vision cleared though, he saw that he wasn't seeing things- they did all look the exact same. What in the...? And they were all brawny? What the hay was going on?

Jim tried to speak to a couple, but they were all too focused on their drink. If Jim recalled, brawny did love booze. But then, he was never this desperate. Normally he gets a bit rambunctious then somepony gets him to leave. Were these his inbred cousins or something? Brawny never struck Jim as a southerner.

Jim pushed his way through the the crowd, knocking a few over with a good smack in the face to clear a path. He galloped out of the pub and saw three Brawnies drinking calmly. Good. Some rationality.

One of them looked like the real brawny, since the others all had something off, such as a lump on their heads or something along those lines. Double good, Jim had found the original.

"Brawns, what the hay is going on there? I'm trying to have a drink when this lot come in and start ravaging the place!"

Calla was on her way to the library when she heard a louder-than usual commotion emitting from the tavern. It wasn't a place she went into often, but Brawny was a frequent customer, and Calla was immediately worried. She trotted around the corner and stopped, her jaw hanging open. In front of her was Medic Jim, Brawny... Brawny... and... Brawny?

Brawny burst from inside the Tavern, staggering drunkly on his hooves, and Calla got a glimpse of the swarming mass of green stallions, all almost identical to the four before her.

"Uh, Brawny?" she started, but shrieked when one of them dumped an entire keg of cider over her head.

"What in the bucking hay did you do?!" she cursed (not common for the usually calm unicorn) and screamed at them in general, figuring the real one was in there somewhere. "I leave you alone for one day. ONE DAY! And what do you do?!"

She took a close look at them and saw little flaws in three of the four before her. One had a ripped ear, another a white hoof, and the last a black streak in his unkempt mane.

She focused on the one she was sure was her real coltfriend and groaned.

"You obviously didn't use the mirror pool... How am I supposed to clean up this mess?"

Well, Brawny's clones were certainly a little rambunctious. Dumping a keg on his marefriend and tearing up a pub? Well the real Brawny wouldn't do that. Looks like Lily was beginning to catch on, and Jim wasn't too pleased either. Well, Brawny made an oopsie. That's what happens when you give him a cloning machine.

"I see you met the group... I know Jim got to see all of them up close, and Lily I think you had a good introduction to #39."

Brawny got up and slapped a tooth out of #39's mouth and shook him. "Don't you DARE do that again!"

#39: "I'm sorry mommy..." Brawny wanted to rip his tongue out after that statement. Instead, he threw him back into the pub with the rest of them.

"Idea. We burn down the pub and kill all of the clones, except for the two good ones sitting right there." #27: "Yay" #33: *Mimics Yay* It wasn't the greatest idea in the world, but the only one he had at the time...

"Woahwoahwoahwoahwoah! Let's not get hasty! If we burn down the pub then somepony has to pay for the damages. Add in that there are already ponies in there as well as those little abominations of nature- they'll get hurt! Plus, where am I supposed to get wasted on Thursdays?"

These were all very good reasons. Particularly the Thursdays part. Jim was decent at that sort of thing- making a good point to further boost his gain. He wondered if he'd picked that up off his dad- a salespony had to be charismatic, and while Jim was no politician he could argue a decent point.

He was going over all this when another sin against nature went crashing through the window. Jim quickly grabbed it and threw it in nearby cart. The stupid mongrel was too drunk to really move, so it wasn't an issue.

"You see? We can just toss them in this cart then figure out a way to kill them all. Problem solved and Brawny is original again."

Calla zapped the drunk Brawny, which turned into a very tipsy bunny.

"Best, least casualty-involved solution I have," she explained.

The bunny-Brawny leaped out of the cart and landed on its head, knocking the creature out cold. Calla rolled her eyes and picked it up, dumping it back where it came from.

"We can release them in the Everfree Forest, and other creatures will deal with the carnage there," she declared. "Now... Our only issue is getting them all before they make a run for it."

Brawny was a bit saddened that he couldn't use arson to solve this epidemic. Loading them into the Everfree Forest could work too. The issue was, luring them there. He was distracted by the drunk Brawny bunny for a little while. It was rather silly. Then Brawny had a stroke of genius. He looked to the only two clones who had common sense.

"You two, don't listen to anything I say while I'm in there." He looked back to Jim and Lily. "I have the perfect plan"

Brawny ran back into the pub, and stood on the counter so that everypony could hear and see him.

"Attention! The real Brawny requires your attention!" They all stopped what they were doing and looked at Brawny, listening fully to what he said. "I have just received word that there is an awesome Metal concert going on tonight. There's just one problem. We have to cross through the Everfree Forest to get to the arena. Are you all up for it?" The pub shook with roaring cheers from the clones. Brawny led them out of the bar, and sent them towards the forest. Who would know Brawny Hooves better than Brawny Hooves?

Jim took a swig of McEwan's, watching the crowd of brawnies go. Certainly was amusing to watch, if a touch metaphysical. Still, at least the pub was still standing. He galloped after the herd of drunk metal fans, gesturing for lily to follow. He wheeled the cart along as he went.

(Sorry if it's short, not much to really say.)

Calla discreetly blasted the back of the crowd, little squirrels and bunnies popping up. She dumped them in the cart and put a sleeping charm over the cart, putting all the creatures inside to sleep.

"Dear Faust," she muttered, shooting a rather ruined Brawny, missing an eye and a nose. "You have made quite a mess, Brawny."

Brawny trotted along with the Brawnies. They were marching into the Everfree Forest with no idea that this was a trick. Brawny looked over and saw she was turning them all into small woodland creatures and throwing them into a cart that made them sleepy. Excellent idea. Not as fun as arson, but it kills much less ponies.

"I did make quite a mess. But look, I'm the ringleader of a circus!" Brawny marched in front of them waving a stick. He was having fun with this. He laughed all the way to the forest. This was so fun. Maybe next time he'll think about cloning himself too.

Numbers 27 and 33 stayed out of the herd, as they were told. They followed behind Calla and Jim, watching how they handled this situation. He looked over at Brawny leading the freak show

#27: "Hard to believe I came from him."
#33: *Nods*

Jim raised an eyebrow at Brawny leading these clones. He'd probably start up some facist regime against non clones. Amusing, but dangerous. He started grabbing brawny clones and holding them in Calla's range so as to speed up the capture process.

He was still trying to decide how best to deal with the rabbits. Letting them into the wild was an option but at the same time it probably wasn't a good time for a bunny infestation. Those things breed like lightning. Still, at least they were dealing with the clones well- they were too stupid to notice what Jim and Calla were doing, so they just assumed the yells of suprise were more out of excitement.

Jim noticed the two other clones behaving sensibly. Huh. Probably the least inbred out of these sins against nature.

"Could you two help out?"

Calla grabbed a squirrel and threw it in the cart. Only one problem: the cart was overflowing.

"Uh, guys?" she said uncertainly. "We're out of room."

Experimenting, she grabbed a sleeping rabbit and chucked it at an Everfree tree. The tree absorbed the creature, emitting a burp-like sound from its leaves.

"That's slightly brutal," she muttered. "Oh, well."

Brawny started dancing at the front with a stick, and Calla seriously debated throwing him into a tree, too.

"Show some constraint," she warned. "If you incite these clones to immaturity..."

The clones in the front started copying him. Calla rolled her eyes.

Behind her, two of the more reasonable clones copied her action. They started throwing more creatures into trees, and Calla started to worry that these ponies would turn into sentient beings who could possibly murder them all. Brawny was certainly capable of it.

But, as Calla observed with distaste, Brawny himself was in no shape to be listening to that information.

Brawny looked behind him and saw what was left of the clones copying him. Aww, they're learning. Isn't that cute? Brawny stopped being the ringleader of the Brawnius Circus, threw the stick down and walked normally. Surprisingly, the clones didn't notice the rest of their kind being turned into rabbits and squirrels. That is, until number 28 turned around and saw what Lily was doing.

#28: "Look! That pretty magic mare is making tiny animals out of us!"

The clones all turned around and observed. They panicked and dispersed. All of the clones ran off into different directions, some even running into Jim and Lily. They had Brawny's manners, too. Now the group is gone, and they would have to go Brawny hunting... Fantastic...

"Oh for Celestia's sake!"

Jim grabbed a few clones and got them changed, but the stupid mongrels left were scarpering. Jim thought for a moment. These are simple creatures. A simple solution would be needed to deal with them. He walked over to a tree and took a couple of sticks. He rubbed them together on the cart, and set it aflame. He yelled out to the clones:

"Hey, check out these awesome special effects! You feel like anything you want when you touch this fire!"

To prove his point, Jim stuck god hoof in the flame. He had wet his hand a moment ago, so he didn't burn.

"Cons on guys! Check this out!"

Calla rolled her eyes and put up a plexi-glass bubble, preventing the Brawnys from escaping.

"C'mon, guys," she said. "It's not that hard."

Many of the Brawnys crashed headfirst into the bubble, and some of them even knocked themselves out. Calla got most of them into trees, but she noticed with annoyance that some had indeed made it past the barrier.

"Let's go," she called, removing the barrier. "I guarantee that those Brawnys are drunk, and if we can't outrun a drunk Brawny, then we may seriously need to rethink our exercise routines."

She ran after number 34 as fast as she could.

Most of the clones stopped hearing about special effects and seeing fire. While some of them were still running and stumbling, a good number trotted back and looked at the fire. They were saying to touch it. Didn't take much more convincing for them to do that. Each one stuck their hooves in the fire. Some even stuck their heads in there

Moments later, there were at least 10 burning Brawnies running around screaming. That was one way to solve the problem, I guess. It was a funny sight too. But a couple of them were still escaping. The headless number 34 kept running away. Since he had no head he couldn't drink, nor could he see. So it didn't take very long for #34 to be stopped by crashing into everything.

Jim herded the brawnies who were running back to the burning clones. They ran around like chickens, aflame. It was quite relaxing- Jim loved watching stuff burn. It felt like somepony else was destroying the stuff for him. He grabbed a few runners and tossed them into the bonfire to keep it burning. He heard Calla's comment and just laughed.

He looked at 34, questions already in his head. How can that brony breathe? How did it even find it's way into the crowd of brawnies without being able to see or hear? Could it even feel? It's brain was missing, which was weird. Jim grabbed 34 and hid it in a bush. Could inbreeding really make a pony immortal? Jim still had a few cousins to call. He was an only child otherwise.

Still, back on the matter at hand. Jim threw stones around the bonfire- didn't want it spreading into the forest after all.

Calla helped throw more Brawnys into the fire, but then the unthinkable happened. The ashes started moving out, squealing with tiny voices for more beer and heavy metal.

"What now?" she cried. "How will we ever get rid of them?"

She started blasting ashes into smaller ashes, but the smaller ashes kept moving, and behind her heavy panting from the effort, Calla screamed with frustration.

"What am I supposed to do?" she shrieked. "Brawny, show me that cloning machine! There must be another way. There has to be. There has to be."

She kept repeating that as she trotted back and forth, stunning the ashes by stepping on them, but they recovered within seconds and swarmed in a group like a school of fish.

Brawny observed as his clones were reforming from the ashes. He had no idea they could do that. Interesting. He would love to keep them around if they weren't so incompetent and deformed. Maybe Lily had an idea with the cloning machine. To stop all of this madness. Numbers 27 and 33 just chuckled and watched all of this happening. Brawny then led them all back to his house while the clones were burning and regenerating.

Brawny stepped into his house and looked into his bedroom. He lugged it there when he found it lying outside of somepony's house. He opened his door, and where the cloning machine stood, was replaced with a sticky note. It read:

"Sorry we took the machine. We need it more than you. Love, #40-49"

Jim ran after brawny. That git wasn't going to cower away from this on Jim's watch. He chased Brawny, who didn't seem to notice, back to his house. Really? His own house? He should at least have his somewhere challenging. Like in a tree or something.

As Jim walked in, he saw Brawny go up to his room. Bad sign. He trotted up the stairs and saw brawny staring at a bit of the wall. Creepy, especially since Jim had seen a film a bit like that recently. He then looked to the space Brawny was staring at and read the note.

"Damn it. Who knows what those idiots will do with a cloning machine?"