My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
Welcome to the forum! Here we aim to have fun role playing your own OC ponies and chat with your fellow bronies. Please say hi to us in the forum chatroom at the bottom of the home page and look at the rules to help get you started.
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
Welcome to the forum! Here we aim to have fun role playing your own OC ponies and chat with your fellow bronies. Please say hi to us in the forum chatroom at the bottom of the home page and look at the rules to help get you started.
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP

Welcome to Equestria everypony! Come and Roleplay with your MLP OC in Ponyville and many other places!
 
HomeLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

 

 Obsidian Cloud

Go down 
3 posters
AuthorMessage
Obby

Obby


Posts : 1
Join date : 2013-10-11

Obsidian Cloud Empty
PostSubject: Obsidian Cloud   Obsidian Cloud I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 11, 2013 11:12 am

Obsidian Cloud (AKA Obby)
Obsidian Cloud Obbu10
Gender: Male
Species: Unicorn
Mane: tricolor, Orange-Red-Blue
Tail: Tricolor, Orange-Red-Blue
Eyes: Dark Pink
Body: Moderate Grey
Cutie Mark: All black outlines, a horn with a wing on either side. (Special talent: wing spells and other flight-related spells)
Age (Baby, adult): Adult.
Personality: Erratic, cool and calculating when dealing with serious issues, but usually fairly emotional and unpredictable.
Likes: Flying, cuddling, and making other ponies happy.
Dislikes: Crowds, oppressors, and seeing ponies in need.
History: As an infant, his mother vanished, and just as he was entering puberty, he was forced to watch his father and brother get murdered in a particularly brutal manner, giving him some occasional problems with hearing their voices in his head. He has been homeless ever since, his sole goal in life being to enhance the lives of others, as he doesn't want them to have to live like he does.

Example RP segment: (Prompt 1. F=filly, and unmarked paragraphs are Obsidian.)

--------------------------------------------
F: -Sitting in an alley, sobbing very loudly-

-He trots over slowly, sits down next to her, and puts a hoof on your shoulder- Shh... It's okay...

F: -shies away fearfully, still sobbing- Wh-who are y-you?!

My name is Obsidian Cloud, but everypony calls me Obby. Who are you?

F: -she is still crying, but seems slightly quieter now that Obby is there- O-Ocean Breeze...

And what are you doing out here all alone, Ocean? Shouldn't you be with your parents? -he slowly and calmly reaches out a hoof towards hers, in an attempt to offer her comfort-

F: I was g-going shopping w-with my -sniff- m-mommy... we got lost in the store, and it's been almost an hour...

I have an idea to help find your mom. But, for it to work, you have to trust me. Okay?

F: O-okay...

-he levitates the filly onto his back, conjuring a pair of glowing, pegasus-like wings- Hang on tight! -He jumps up into the air, and takes flight, soaring above the rooftops- Keep an eye out for her, okay?

F: -Nods gently, whimpering a bit- I-I will...
-------------------------------------------

I hope that was enough there. If I need to add anything more, then I would be glad to.

Acceptance
Back to top Go down
Fireseeker

Fireseeker


Posts : 1471
Join date : 2012-07-28
Location : United Kingdom

Obsidian Cloud Empty
PostSubject: Re: Obsidian Cloud   Obsidian Cloud I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 11, 2013 12:38 pm

Welcome to the site Obby :)

There are several parts of your app that need changes before approval.

Your OC's talent is a little concerning as creating wings is supposed to be a really difficult spell. However it can be allowed under the following guidelines:
- The spell can only be cast on himself
- The wings are magical and aren't permanent
Also, I assume that "other flight-related spells" means increased speed, agility, etc, so that is acceptable.

Add more to the personality, and try to explain the character rather than list traits.

The father and brother being murder is rather too dark for the site, so that should be changed/removed. Also, the history section as a whole is a bit short. Try to expand on it, perhaps adding how Odsidian earned his cutie mark.

Lastly, your roleplaying style is one we avoid using on this site. Have a look at any of the OC's in my signature for examples of roleplaying that we accept.

By the way, nice picture.
Back to top Go down
MiniKirby123

MiniKirby123


Posts : 712
Join date : 2013-02-14
Location : In a TARDIS, navigating through the universe.

Obsidian Cloud Empty
PostSubject: Re: Obsidian Cloud   Obsidian Cloud I_icon_minitimeFri Oct 11, 2013 5:59 pm

Dat art.

That is all.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content





Obsidian Cloud Empty
PostSubject: Re: Obsidian Cloud   Obsidian Cloud I_icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Obsidian Cloud
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» A Cloud in the Sky
» Sky Cloud
» Cloud Chasing
» Ashen Cloud
» Mushroom Cloud

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic OC RP :: Creations :: Submitted Creations-
Jump to: