| Frozen Flame | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Frozen Flame Fri Jun 06, 2014 9:16 pm | |
| Name: Frozen FlameGender: Colt Species: Pegasi Mane: Ice blue with burning red center Tail: Same as mane Eyes: Light ivy green Body: Blue Flame colored and average weight for a colt. Muscular build but not to muscular. White zebra stripes even though he is not a zebra. Cutie Mark: An ice cube with a flame in the center(Couldn't find it or make it yet so it's not put in) Age: 19, Adult Personality: Frozen Fire is normally a chill pony. He likes to fly and he will accept any challenge. He loves to mess around with friends and he loves pranking. He puts a lot of effort into things he does but can occasionally get lazy. He loves to fly fast when he is flying unless its nighttime. At night he takes luxury flights, slowly. He is outgoing but a somewhat shy person and he hates it when he goes shy, so he tries to avoid his shy side. Likes: Flying, wind in his mane, racing, pranking, joking, friends, happy ponies, storm flights Dislikes: Failed pranks, being ignored, sad ponies, mean ponies, bullies, humorless ponies History: Frozen Flame was born and grew up in a small house in CloudsDale. He had three other siblings, two were his older brothers and one was his younger sister. His little sister was very kind and somewhat shy. She was always there for Frozen Fire after he was beat. Frozen Flame's older brothers always teased him and were mean to him.. They were raised by their father due to their mother dying 2 years after their little sister was born. It was hard for their father to raise them so he got a friend to help but she soon left for a job. Frozen Flame had little experience with girls so he was generally shy for a small part of his life growing up. He soon got a girlfriend but broke up with her 3 months afterward but it gave him confidence. He made friends easily due to his joking and pranking behavior. Frozen Flame's older brothers teased him so much that he had finally had enough and began avoiding them. If his brothers weren't enough drama, Frozen soon got word of his father's death. Frozen was devastated after his father's death and for a while was in a daze. His little sister had to care for him. he would stay in the house all day, occasionally getting up and getting something to eat or drink, then going back to his room. After a while Frozen got back on his hooves and moved on. His brothers got drunk a lot at the Tavern then came home and beat him up and his sister, but Frozen Flame took their beating. Once his brothers moved out he got a job cloud kicking. His brothers came back soon after and Frozen Flame didn't want to deal with them. He took off for PonyVille, leaving his sister behind. Frozen Flame soon got word his sister had moved away from her brothers, putting their old CloudsDale house up for sale. Frozen Flame got his cutie mark because one day he attacked his brother back. He looked calm on the outside as his brother yelled at him and slapped him but on the inside he was burning with rage and his brother went to slap him and he blocked his brother's hoof and turned and kicked him. There was a flash and there was his cutie mark. Example RP Segment #3: Frozen Flame trotted through the downpour grumpily. He shook his mane and body but it had no effect. He saw a light up ahead and voices so he trotted closer. He saw the tavern and images of his brothers beating him up came flooding into his mind and he shook them off. 'Never.' He thought and opened up his wings and tried to lift off but the rain pulled at his wings and he couldn't fly. "Dangit!" He spat then folded his wings. He walked into the tavern and shook himself at the doorway. There were angry shouts then they died down back to the normal noisiness. He trotted over to the bar and knocked on the wood for the bar tender. "What can I getcha'?" "Light cider please." "Alright." The bar tender turned and grabbed his cider and returned it to him then trotted over to another pony. A pony tapped him on the shoulder and grinned. " I challenge you to a drink off." The clearly sober pony said. "Challenge accepted." Frozen Fire said with a smirk. He sat at the table hoofs in his laps. 'What can I say? Can't resist a challenge.' He thought as they started. Acceptance
Last edited by SkyRide on Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:09 pm; edited 5 times in total | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:45 am | |
| The pic doesn't show up for me. :/ I don't know if it is my version of computer or what. And The mods and admins have agreed that you'd need to rp your first char more in order to create a second. I'd wait a week or two. | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:43 am | |
| Alright!! i will try and get that pic for you! | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:02 am | |
| Awesome! So sorry, I forgot about this... ^.^;
Alright, the first thing I notice is the choppiness of the sentences in your history.
1. " He had 3 other siblings. 2 were boys and 1 was a girl and his older brothers always teased him." Should be something like: He had three older siblings, two older brothers who loved to tease him, and a younger sister who... (add something more about her here!) Instead of using numbers, try typing out the number!
2. Maybe tell what their relationship with their mother was like.
3. "Cold Fire's older brothers teased him for a long time so he avoided them when he could but soon his father died and couldn't be there for him." This sentence is a bit too long, so I suggest shortening it to: "Cold Fire's older brothers teased him so much that he had finally had enough and began avoiding them. If his brothers weren't enough drama, Cold soon got word of his father's death (Tell how it affected him)"
4. "His brothers got drunk a lot at the Tavern then came home and beat him up and his sister, but Cold Fire took their beating." This might be a little bit too dark but I'll allow it due to other apps being approved with this kind of thing.
5. "Once his brothers moved out he got a job cloud kicking and he had a good life but his brothers came back and he soon left CloudsDale and came here to PonyVille." This sentence has way too many ands and I suggest you break this sentence into two. | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:14 pm | |
| There I made the changes and changed the pony a bit... | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:57 pm | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sun Jul 13, 2014 8:47 pm | |
| Can i make a bat pony if I rp enough? | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Mon Jul 14, 2014 1:13 am | |
| Bat ponies are for the more experienced forum goers, plus, how much do you know about them? | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Fri Jul 18, 2014 7:21 pm | |
| Bat ponies have really distinguished features so you can tell them from every other pony. They have bat-like wings,gray coats, and dark slitted eyes. The reason bat ponies have that name are most likely from their bat-like wings. Bat pony wings are leathery and unfeathered. Also they aren't the same color as their coat like a pegasi's or they are closer to their mane color. Bat ponies have mostly gray coats in many hues but their mane's can be colorful. Bat ponies also have fangs because of the association with bats and blood. So the fangs are added for the 'bat like look'. Their slitted eyes are another distinguishable trait because it shows they are more nocturnal. Most bat ponies are fruit eaters or both. Less tend to eat bugs and blood as part of their diet. Also bat ponies are able to use echolocation with a clicking of their tongue. Lastly, bat ponies are thought to be mischievous due to them being nocturnal. | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Fri Jul 18, 2014 9:15 pm | |
| - The rules wrote:
- Members seeking to role-play an OC of a nonstandard race must discuss the choice thoroughly with a moderator or administrator before posting the OC application. If the idea is approved, the applicant must then write the name of the moderator or administrator with whom he or she has discussed in the application.
(I'm so sorry for all of this interrogation, but I want to go through every possible pitfall before approving, just to make sure! I love the idea of another bat pony and I think it is a great idea!) We do need more bat ponies around! ^_^ So, I'd like to know what you plan on what you'd do with this OC and where its role in society would lie. Where will it live and how would it interact with the normal ponies? What would the personality be? What would the cutie-mark be? Would it be Luna's guard? Since most ponies are diurnal, interactions with the other rper's would be difficult plus the fact they'd be squeaking a lot attempting to figure out where they are which might interrupt speech patterns if they go for flights and talk along the way. Waking in the daylight might be nearly impossible without some heavy duty, specially made, eyewear due to their eyes being more adapted to the night. And with super sensitive ears of the normal bat, they'd have a hard time being able to speak to normal ponies with louder voices. How do you plan to deal with that? | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sat Jul 19, 2014 8:59 am | |
| Well she/ he would be a night pony. She wouldn't hang out in the day but would wake up just as she sun has set. Since other ponies like being out at night she could make friends. She's mostly a quiet pony who doesn't like to talk and she wouldn't be Luna's royal guard(though she loves Luna). She loves music and has always DJ'd for her friends parties. Her actual original name is DJay. Thats the name she was given when she was born. She does avoid most crowded spots so she would walk along the outskirts of the town or city than be around the center. She would live in Hollow Shades but she travels a lot to get away from the normal things she sees. She only flies to leave ponies or to go a place. She prefers to walk and talk with ponies. but before she says anything she checks if anything is ahead of her, then talks. If there are normal ponies with loud voices she stays away with them. If she happens to come across one who talks to her she would threaten with fangs then fly away. Her cutie mark would be headphones with a bat in the center. Lastly she wouldn't go out at daytime, she stays inside with only a dim lit candle in her bedroom.
Oh and when i was writing what i knew about bat ponies I TOTALLY forgot what the word for diurnal was ben though i learned it 3 days ago so yeah. | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sat Jul 19, 2014 7:04 pm | |
| Where is Hollow Shades and how would being a DJ affect his/her sensitive ears? Being a bat-pony, she/he'd have much bigger ears than a normal bat causing them to be about 13-20 times more sensitive and the fuzz would help trap sound better leaving him/her at a great disadvantage for the extremely loud occupation of Dj-ing. Normal ponies with normal voices would have to speak in a softer tone due to these issues also. So, MEGA EAR PLUGS!!! WOO! Plus all of the flashing lights she'd use to put on a show would still harm her night pony eyes a great deal. | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sat Jul 19, 2014 8:12 pm | |
| OK thanks I think I can change her with the better info. Your right I didn't think about that so I think she shouldn't DJ but its still just her name. Although she's a bat pony she still should be able to have fun but she doesn't really talk to other ponies so DJing shouldn't be her thing. Though still keeping the headphone cutie mark she could like making music with her echo location. Finding different tunes with the echo's bouncing off different objects. Also Hollow Shades is located on the east side of Equestria. | |
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Doodle Bug
Posts : 1450 Join date : 2012-11-06
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:18 am | |
| That sounds awesome!! I now approve of this! Go ahead and make up the app! | |
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SkyRide
Posts : 404 Join date : 2014-06-03 Location : Places
| Subject: Re: Frozen Flame Sun Jul 20, 2014 7:48 am | |
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